I don't know where I am.

'I don't know where I am?'

Anyone who's watched this series of Doctor Who will recognise this refrain. 'I don't know where I am, I don't know where I am...' - it begins in the first episode of the series as members of the public get sucked into their wifi, and is repeated as Clara spins through time in the series finale. 

It's a state I hate being in, not knowing where I am. I am someone who is unfortunately graced with a horrendous sense of direction. If I walk into a shop that has more than one entrance and exit I'm done for when I then try to leave - I could be anywhere! (Why do they do that?!) When I passed my driving test and was allowed out in the car, I remember my mum being amazed at how little I knew of navigating my way around the town I'd lived in for eighteen years - it just isn't how my brain works. I don't retain direction, unlike my big sister, who could navigate to my grandparents' house when she was three, or something. We really are wired quite differently. 

Even when we were squee she concentrated on the road while I just waved at passers by. (I don't think I was doing any of this driving, despite having a wheel.)

So in my current role on placement with an ecological consultancy firm, being sent all around the country in a van on my own, I am my own worst nightmare. Not only do I have the problem of waking up in the morning and having to work out which region of the country I am in (trying to decipher which bit of the 6:45am weather report applied to me this morning was genuinely impossible), but I have to find my way there: to sites, to hotels, to places to eat. I rely heavily on the sat nav software on my phone, but that in itself isn't always enough. As we know, a bad workman blames his tools, and a bad workman in the craft of navigation, I surely am. 

Today was a bad one. Due to a complicated survey arrangement, where I essentially had been booked in to be in two places at 8am at the same time (which were an hour apart, I might add), I was meeting some other ecologists onsite, having already started. I rang one of them when I was nearby, on a fuzzy, middle of the countryside-style phone line: 'Meet us at Crockham Hill!' she said. Fabulous, I thought to myself, type that into the sat nav and off we go.

Twenty minutes later, I'm in the village of Crockenhill. No, that's not a typo, genuinely there are two villages within 17 miles of each other, one called Crockham Hill, the other Crockenhill. When she'd spelled it out over the crackly phone-line, I'd got the wrong one. So there I was, trying to be guided through a village both by a colleague on the phone and by a sat nav, who were clearly at odds with one another, while I, merely the hands and feet that move the little white van, try to work out the discrepancy between the two.

I don't know where I am.

Even with maps, I said this several times today. Trying to find Crockham Hill. Trying to find a supermarket. Trying to find my hotel. Thinking about what I'm going to do when my placement ends...

Not knowing where you are is fundamentally disorientating. I realise that while for many people there is excitement and adventure in exploring a new place - uncharted territory - for me there is an underlying unease about being somewhere I genuinely don't know. For several weeks in the last month or so I have been out on surveys in Leicestershire, which despite being tiring for all sorts of reasons, was great for me because a. I went back to the sites several times, so became very familiar with them; but also b. Leicestershire is a county which borders my home county, Northamptonshire. My Granny lives in one of the villages there, the scenery is familiar, I know the names on the signs, it's all within my extended territory. But here? Here is uncharted for me. It's only Surrey and Kent, but still. 

But unsurprisingly, where I am going with this is that this is not just a physical and geographic principle. Not knowing where you are is frustrating and disorientating when it refers to the rest of life too. Increasingly, at the moment, I am saying perhaps not 'I don't know where I am', but 'I don't know where I'm going', or 'I don't know where I'm going to be'. Welcome to your post-graduate twenties, eh?

I still have three and a half months of this placement, and therefore my masters, left to go. Mid-September it all rounds off. And at the point of writing, beyond that point I don't know where I am. Oxford: that's about as far as I've got. Oxford is home now, so living in Oxford is the only thing that's vaguely firm. However. Thankfully, I am repeating to myself, I don't have to be worried, because I can trust in God who does know where I am. He knows where I've been, where I am, and where I'm going, all at once.

Being a Christian in the workplace is genuinely not very straightforward. In my old office, it was fine: you had a problem, you prayed about it together. But here, out on placement, I swear when I'm lost just like everyone else, I get groggy when I'm tired and hungry just like everyone else, and I find some people difficult to be gracious to, just like everyone else. Turns out being a Christian does not make you a perfect colleague. (Ha, who knew?) But. It does give me hope. 

There are phenomenal verses like:
'The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?' Proverbs 20:24, 

'The Lord will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry, and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring.' Isaiah 58:11,

'The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights [and not slip on your bum as you cross a stream]' [Emily paraphrased] Habbakuk 3:19

and, one of my favourites 'No-one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame.' Psalm 25:2.

So. I don't know where I am. But, thankfully I don't have to fret while I work it out. Phew. Feel free to remind me of that when I'm fretting, ok?

Sorry this is such a long one - you may have noticed it's been a long time since I last blogged, and I've got lots of words in a backlog, it seems. I shall sign off now, from my little hotel room in Godstone, with a song that gave me hope yesterday morning when I was stuck on the M40. 

Hopefully I'll see you soon :)

How my Masters is Ruining my Life

Ooh, a big title today. 

Before we begin, no, don't worry, this is not going to be a big rant about how going back into studying has stolen all of my socialising time, and I can't do anything but work, and it's ruining my life. Definitely not, because that is categorically [untrue]. And the reason it is untrue is that my undergrad degree was so often fraught with the tension of work vs play that I knew I had to be better this time, and not let my studying stress out my entire life again. Praise the Lord, it isn't nearly so bad this time. :)

How could this guy being in your life stress you out? He couldn't. He's too lush.

No, what I mean by my masters ruining my life is more to do with how what I'm learning is affecting how I look at the world. 'Ruining' is probably also somewhat hyperbollic (maybe I exaggerate too much...?), but bear with...

There's something funny about knowledge that is un-doable. Once you know certain things you can't look at life in the same way - it's the same with people: I'm sure we've all got people that we wish we hadn't found particular things out about, because it just changes how we see them, and the attitude we approach them with. I'm finding this with my Masters, that the more I learn what things are, the more I'm encouraged to 'engage with nature', and the more skills I'm taught about how to notice particular things, the more I can't just ignore them and enjoy nature at face value any more. It's not that any of this makes me enjoy nature less, quite the opposite, in fact; but I cannot shut it off.

Flowery Fireworks

Way back at the  beginning of November (how time flies!), I went to the fireworks display at South Parks in Oxford. I say 'I went to' - I went and stood outside the gate to the park, along with the rest of Oxford's cheapskates who don't pay to go in to the fair, but freeload the fireworks from outside. 

I just love fireworks: I love the fact that they overwhelm your senses with light and sound and the feel of the explosion - they're just wonderful. It's the only thing that makes me think going to the South Bank for new years would be worthwhile. So I'm there, all snuggled up in my gloves and scarf, with my housemate Lizzie, and my brain goes 'That firework looks like an Apiaceae's umbellifer infloresence. And that next one looks like an Asteraceae...' [the one pictured to the left]. 

I couldn't believe it. 'Brain!' I said to my brain. 'Brain - what are you doing?! It's Saturday night! Chill out!' But did it listen to me? No, it did not. Similarly, as I sit on the train in the mornings watching the Oxfordshire/Berkshire countryside roll past, each day I'm spotting different things (when I'm not snoozing, that is), identifying different birds as they fly past, seeing different plant assemblages, wondering how I'd map out that piece of land if I had to survey it. My brain has been tuned into a new way of thinking that means that things I used to see passively I now see actively, and things I'd just look at before, I now study. Before, I would photograph things because I loved the way they look - now I do it because I want to know what it is too. Grass is the worst - having done some grassland surveys I now can't even walk over a patch of grass without my brain trying to categorise it into a specific type of grassland, or revising the latin names of the different species that I can see. (I can 'Achillea millifolium' at you 'til the cows come home...)

But it's how brains learn, isn't it? You become hypersensitive to the things you're learning, and can't switch off from them, can't go back, can't unlearn. It happens to medics who suddenly 'have' the diseases they're learning about, and psychologists who start to analyse themselves in terms of each new theory they learn. Life certainly isn't ruined, not in a bad way, but becomes so changed in outlook and perspective because of what you know that you almost can't remember how you managed to look at life in any other way.

I've been thinking about this a lot over the last little while, and thinking about how many times I've heard people say that becoming a Christian 'ruined' their life. It sounds crazy, especially when you're a Christian yourself, but I can totally see what they mean. You're cruising along happily with your life, doing your own happy thing in your own strength, with your own motives, and in your own abilities; and then suddenly your life is turned upside down by this revelation, or an encounter. Like a middle-aged woman who's just discovered Ocado.com, life will never be the same, in an empowering and potentially dangerous way.

You're called to live differently from how you have before: something different flows out of you, and somehow the things that seem important aren't what they were before. But it's all because you can't see things how you used to any more, everything has a new light. In the light of who Jesus is, and what relationship with him feels like, and the salvation you have that you know you don't deserve, you can't switch off and return to your old life, and can no longer just do things by yourself. It can be hard work and self-sacrificial, and a huge commitment, yet there's so much life there.

It feels like this same type of learning, where you get attuned to new things and you simply can't switch them off.

It's exciting and terrifying at the same time.

Recently I've had a bit of an awakening of that feeling. I think at points during last term I'd slipped from going to God and doing life in his strength rather than my own. I mean, I was doing alright, all of my work was getting done and everything was ok, but there was just something missing; things felt laborious and tiring and stressful, even though they shouldn't have. God has blessed me with a good portion of capability, so I very often forget that it was him who gave it to me, and just try and power on with my own capability and little more. But once you know what living in the grace of God and in his strength feels like, you just can't settle for the old life anymore. I can't settle for stretches of time without God's input, knowing what life with God looks like. I joke about not being able to switch this new engagement with nature off, but now I'm there, if someone took my field guides away from me and told me I wasn't allowed to find any more out I'd be gutted. And there's always so much more to learn too - the more you know, the more you love it, and the more you realise there's still so much more to know. Living life awakened to God is the same - once you see it you can never settle with going back, and can never stop finding out more what he is really like.

I've been listening to Rend Collective Experiment a lot recently, and LOVE this song. Thank goodness that every time we forget, or think we've un-learnt, what it is to live life with him, he welcomes us back. Again. And again. And again. Countless second chances :)

Silent Spring

At Christmas this year, it was abundantly clear that I was back studying the environmental sciences: my presents included a swish pair of binoculars, some wellie stickers, wellie socks, wellie holders (I know, I didn't know they existed either), and the book Silent Spring, by Rachel Carson.

I'd asked for this book from my grandparents. It's one of those juggernauts of a book that was hugely influential when it was written, changing a lot of people's ideas about agriculture, ecology and conservation. It riffs on the idea of spring falling silent, as hundreds of birds die during the late 50s and early 60s, from poisining due to accumulations of pesticides in the food chain. I guess as an environmental student, not having read it is a bit like a biological sciences student not having read The Origin of Species (*gulp* I've read most of it, I promise...), or a Literature student never having read any Shakespeare. Needless to say, I hadn't read it; hence why I asked for it for Christmas. To appease the guilt. 

Owning it is, at least, a step in the right direction, right?

Rachel Carson is my kind of writer - she writes about scientific things in a wonderfully descriptive way - waffly, almost - but poetic and emotive. In the first year of my undergrad degree, my college tutor told me that I was getting the right points into my essays, but the language was too poetic for scientific writing. I know that that was true for those essays, but it's nice to see that other writers write Biology poetically and from the heart too. Thankfully, in a more recent assignment for my masters, that was self-reflective and about our personal conservation philosophy, this waffly tone found its place!

As I read the book (I have started - but I'm only a short way into it!), I stumble upon quotes that I love on almost every page. My favourite so far is thus:

"Have we fallen into a mesmerized state that makes us accept as inevitable that which is inferior or detrimental, as though having lost the will or the vision to demand that which is good?"

She is speaking here of people's acceptance of the deterioration of the environment due to overexploitation and excessive pesticide use, as if it were a matter of course: as if it were the only way, just because that is how it is. Which, of course, it is not -  we are beginning to see that now, some fifty years on from the writing of this book. 

Beautiful British Countryside :)

That quote inspires me, as someone who's hoping to make a career in this sector; but also for life, in general. [What a broad statement.] Does it you? 

Are we in a state that accepts that which is inferior, having lost the will or vision to demand that which is good? It makes me sad to think of how many of us live like this, and how often I do too. We so easily accept what is in the world, the circumstances around us, regardless of what they are. 

Perhaps it's because we don't think we can do anything about them.
Perhaps we are apathetic.
Perhaps we don't think we deserve any better.
Or perhaps it's easier to accept circumstances without thought, than face up to their reality.

Recently I've been thinking about fear and anxiety. Without going into too much of a sad diary entry, I struggled with anxiety and fear in my late teens, which was triggered by one reasonably trivial incident, but exacerbated by doing too much, not having time to process life, putting too much pressure on myself, and being bathed in the anxiety of several friends who had real depressive and axious tendencies. Fear and anxiety are the kind of things that creep into life without you noticing. 'Through the back door", a wise friend of mine described it as. And before you know it, you are coping with living through anxiety. 

But life in that state is both inferior and detrimental. 

And somehow, among all that, I lost the vision to demand that which is good. Anxiety was what I saw around me in others, it was what that portion of my life looked like, I just accepted it as normal. A bugger, but normal.

Jesus had so much to say on this issue. He said that he came to give us life, and life to the fullest (John 10:10);  that we shouldn't worry because God provides for us (Matthew 6:25-34); and that when we ask from God he will give us good things (Matthew 7:9-11). 

Life, and life to the fullest.

I guess it feels to me like it's time for some people to demand life to the fullest, instead of the fear and anxiety that they live in. And time for us, like Rachel Carson, to see the world around us and realise that it is in an inferior and detrimental state. To demand better. To intercede for people and situations that fall below what they deserve. To understand that God loves us, and wants good things for us, deems us deserving of it. Because it is 'for freedom that Christ set us free'.

One person who certainly embraces life to the fullest is the current joy of my life: Miranda. Last week's episode was all about her not conforming to what other people think she should be doing, but chosing to embrace joy. Here's a trailer for next week's. I love her. 

Enjoy :)


 

2012 - an Updated Year

As 2012 draws to a close, once again I can hardly believe how quickly another year has gone. I was contemplating how best to reflect on a year gone by, and thought what documents all I'm up to, in time capsule-fashion, better than Facebook status updates and photos!?

So here is my year - documenting office-lols, BSL lessons, multiple weddings,the Masters journey (from writing the personal statement to completing the first term), summer holidays, and two house-moves - *Phew!*

2012

January: 

Seeing in the New Year with Hayley (and Amanda!)

Congratulations to Jack and Claire on their utterly beautiful and wonderfully great wedding yesterday :) :)

When being a biology graduate becomes uncool: correcting people in sign language classes because they're describing animals wrong.

Today learnt useful phrases at BSL like 'please don't interrupt me',give me the orange pen', 'don't understand? I'll explain', 'call me tomorrow' and 'will you get the bill or me?'. I feel I am now well equipped for life in a deaf school, or on the deaf dating scene. Splendid.

Lesson learned over dinner: conserve energy, there's no need to respond to random words in other people's conversations that aren't *actually* your name. My name's not 'envelope'.

Due to the electricty outage this morning I opted to plait my hair to keep it all under control. This was a largely successful venture, but I did twice during the day make myself jump because there was something resting on my shoulder, and had also forgotten the joy of post plaited-wet-hair hair. Afro is my evening look tonight. Suave.

February:

Going for dinner for Sam's Birthday
Clarissa and Charlotte

Thank you, landlady, for finally sending me a blind for my freezing window. Hurrah! You're right, it does look *really* easy to install myself! All I need is to be 6 inches taller, have a set of screw-drivers, the ability to screw into wood frames, and to have a clue what I'm doing! Excellent. Landlady, do you not realise *I am not my Dad*?!

The awkward moment when all the snow melts and it's revealed that you hadn't actually parked in a parking space, and you've actually just abandoned your car in the middle of the car park...

What a great weekend! So good to see Mike and Liz Sturgess, and Debbie Gliddon; and to have Mary Catelyn to stay - and such a privilege to get teaching and inspiration from such wonderful people, meet with God, and allllll that jazzzzz. Time for a nap.

Dear BBC, thank you (most ardently) for making so many awesome period dramas, then selling them in one almighty box set, and making days off so mightily scrummy. MIGHTILY SCRUMMY. Sincerest regards, Miss Emily.

Unseasonally beautiful March weather,
and I almost die in a horsey stampede

March:

Can really only apologise to the other participants on the health and safety training today for completely derailing the focus for so long by answering the question 'what hazards are associated with vehicles in the work place?' with 'them potentially being Transformers'. I think I'd had too many biscuits

Oh spring,I do enjoy your arrival,and your diminishing requirement for bike lights :)

Great Exchange with Dylan this evening... 

D: Em, I'm pressing you! Look, Em, pressing, I'm pressing you like a BUTTON! 

E: Dyls, when it's people you usually call it 'poking'. 

D: ...Poking you like a BUTTON!! :D

Considering changing my name to Emaily. Emaily by name, Emaily by nature, and only one letter's addition.

Chilling out in this lovely weather with Just a Minute, waiting for the famalam to arrive. I think this is the Birthday version of #livingthedream :)

April:

The beautiful spread at
Mica's hen-do

For those of you who this means anything to, Tim Jupp of Delirious? fame was in the office this morning. I made him tea. Was one of only two people who understood how cool he is!

Hen night win :D exhausted now. Hooray Mica!

I'm in love with the laminator.

When asking Bry what I should write about myself as good traits I possess in my personal statement she suggested 'witty banter' and 'good at making portmanteau words'. I reckon alongside my suggestion of 'looks great in wellies' we're really getting somewhere...

Entertained by how conservative M&S are in their descriptions. Just bought a skirt for graduation which they describe as a 'black jersey mini-skirt.' It comes down to my knees.

Well, graduation next weekend, Mica and Samuel's wedding the weekend after - life's all kicking off and getting exciting now! Lots of monumental moments - I'm excited :)

May:

My oldest friend, Meesh,
as a beautiful bride

Ok, ok, I got second wind after laughing at BBT for 40 minutes. More has been done. This is it. Clicking submit...eeshk. [that was my masters application!]

I've graduated! :D and just had graduation lunch as a guest of Lord Krebs at high table...I'm not sure why,but it was lovely and I'm both honoured and full of great food :)

Just putting it out there: I'm worried about Andrew. He's tidied his desk.

Had a completely wonderful day at Mica and Samuel Gill's wedding yesterday - everything absolutely beautiful. Can't believe you're actually married, Meesh! Thanks for letting me be a part of it :) and me and Leanne made it up and down the aisle in our heels without falling over = Success!

So, this new weather: great, BUT, could it like, rain torrentially and abrasively overnight? A bird's done a mahusive poo on my skylight and I'm concerned it's just going to get sun-baked on

Me and Emma with Heth on our graduation
(photo taken by Jenni G)

Remember how I fell in love with the laminator a few weeks ago? Well. I've just discovered...the LABEL MAKER. :-O *LABELALLTHETHINGS!*

Discovered today that watching a video of yourself signing is MUCH less mortifying than a video of yourself talking. My guess is this is because you can't realise that you sign in a posher accent than you'd previously thought...

BIG CONGRATULATIONS to Emma for winning the Guild of Food Writers Award for best Food Blog for poiresauchocolat :) :) So proud of you!

June:

Jubileeeeee!

*sigh*... 

Andrew: "I like Manchester's graphics and layout, but I don't think a tag-line should end with a preposition." 

Me:"What, so instead of 'not just a service, but a family to belong to', it's 'not just a service, but a family to which you belong'?" 

Andrew: Exactly. This is Oxford, not, y'know, Manchester...

Stephen Mangan replied to my tweet today. I've made it in life. :D

Cute things Dylan does #a-bajillion: Tucking my fringe behind my ear when I'm reading him and Phoebs a bedtime story 'cos it's 'in the way and he can't see my face'. :) (Also sign I need my hair cut #a-bajillion.)

Jubilee lols with Oliver (aka Loliver)

What an excellent weekend :) Debs Smith, you are a stunningly beautiful bride. And Suzi Smith, you are a stunningly beautiful bridesmaid; and I love you both.

a very excellent evening, though very sad to have closed Flat 5/6. I guess it's actually the end now. *sniff* :(

Nisa came back to work today after a month away. She brought me back a scarf from Pakistan, and told me I'd lost weight. It's nice to have her back :)

Has the patience of a saint. Except, one of those saints where when they check their emails and still haven't got the email they're after, they get frustrated again and have to screw up pieces of paper and breathe deeply. That kinda saint.

I am Pooped. But I love getting to see Anna Robinson! :) Where the love of her life may keep her in France, at least the Hen Party brings her back ;) x

July:

The 2012 rings at the Olympic Opening Ceremony

That was the last day of Juu-uuune, and this is the First of July.

The Opening Ceremony Industrial Revolution

This morning I accidentally dismissed rather than snoozed my alarm. However, at the moment I needed to have woken up, a crow landed on my roof outside my open skylight and cawwed *really* loudly to wake me up. Thanks nature! I feel like Snow White.

"No, you're fine!", sayeth the sky, "honestly, you'll make it, I won't rain, you're fine. Honest, get on your bike!...Yeah, JOKING!" *KER-SPLOSH* This is the conversation we've had every day this week. *sigh*

It's official - my life will look very different come October: I got a place on my Masters course! :D

in the 20minute cycle home from work, I've just gotten more cold and wet than I have done in months. Did anyone keep the receipt, I think this July is faulty...?

FITZWONG WEDDING!

Discussing whether the tooth:money exchange rate in the toothfairy economy is actually viable,with an actual member of The actual treasury. Loving graduate life :D — with Tom Wickersham and Sarah Marchant at St James's Park.

August:

The mountains of Verbier

I am home, and provided with tea! :D Great time away - An *excellent* opening ceremony, and an *amazing* five days of catching up with friends, looking after babies and toddlers, drinking wine and laughing with CCN, catching a few rays and dodging a few raindrops, learning new things and having a great time with God. Now, to move house. Maybe I'll wait til tomorrow to start on that...

Right. To the last little bit of packing. And moving out. *sniff*

It seems like there's a negative correlation between how clean the old house is and how clean I am. Shower time. 'Eau de Oven-Cleaner and anti-bac' isn't the most attractive fragrance.

I'm not sure I'm built for such back to back excitement - wedding yesterday was WONDERFUL, hen do today was HILARIOUS, and tomorrow I get to do stage one of Swizzventure! How exhausting! :D

Having spent much of the evening poring over finances and loan applications for going into post-graduate studentdom, I think I may have to unsubscribe myself to the fatface emails that are pinging into my inbox. Even the sale ones. SAD DAY.

Hooray! I've officially passed British Sign Language Level 1! :D Hooray again!

Just been rehearsing with David Brennan for Hayley and Oliver's wedding tomorrow - it's all very exciting! Also loving seeing Anandi Brennan too! Joyful Friday. Now, to keep oneself occupied to justify the office needing to be manned...

September:

The students' pre-term weekend

Have literally got the painting & decorating/cleaning bug. This new house WILL BE BEAUTIFUL. If you see paint in my hair/on my glasses/around my nails/all over my face, just humour me.

Andrew's just fired me for about the bazillionth time. Either way, can't quite believe I've only got three more days in the office after today.

Had a great time at the pub after work with the nicest colleagues, who buy the best leaving presents (you know me so well!),say the loveliest things, tease me ridiculously and make me laugh a stupid amount. Thank you - I'm definitely going to miss the kings centre office family *sniff sniff*

I HAVE A NEW BED! IT'S NOT BROKEN! AND IT HAS LEGS SO I CAN PUT THINGS UNDER IT! AND MY WINDOW IS OPEN! EPIC DAY,ALL ROUND! (the sad part is quite how much effort we put in to achieve this mini victory...)

The guy over the road hasn't perfected the art of getting changed far enough from the window that I won't see him if I glance up. Awkward.

Right, I'm going on a reccy to reading. Just to make sure it's actually there...

October:

My classmates at the shoreline,
at Kimmeridge Bay

Right then. Off to be a fresher again. And meet lots of new people. Eek.

Has never been a breakdown rescue service before, but I think team Sturgekins did a great job this evening. — with Helen Jenkins.

Today, Sian Lloyd started following me on Twitter. I'm just not sure what to think about that.

Felt so swanky on the London Paddington commuter train this morning. In my wellies.

On our way down to the south coast for a day at the seaside! I mean, we'll do some shore surveys while we're there,but SEASIDE! :D

As expected, 11o'clock Emily is really not blessed by the state 7:30 Emily left her bed in, having come home from uni. Will she never learn?

Things to do tomorrow: All the things. Things to do now: sleep.

I'm very excited that my binocular delivery service comes with a pub lunch, and a catch up with the rents at the weekend. Now that's service.

Gorgeous Red at the
British Wildlife Centre

November:

Today I got very cold, deliberately fell in a hedge to see how dense it was, and got a stitch from laughing hysterically at grass (or it could have been at Jamie. Or Leah. Or all three...).

I realised this week, in my cake-centric brain, that the phrase 'bats and birds' sounds like 'battenburg'. Consultancy is forever to be cakey.

SOMEONE'S JUST FARTED ON THE HOT BUS. THIS IS NOT OK.

It's Merlin o'clock. I bloomin' love that time.

Is playing 'are you ill or are you just overtired' roulette tonight. The rules of the game are: go to bed NOW, and get up at 5:45am tomorrow and see if you've died. I'll let you know how I get on.

I FINALLY MADE IT HOME!!! :D and am tempted never to leave ever again.

  So, today I am thankful for: the flood water not having reached our house, the glorious Jessie Hine for her graciousness, my amazing big sib for picking me up from Didcot AGAIN, and payphones when your smart phone has outsmarted itself. Oh, and pizza. Phew.

Just used the phrase 'sodding sod you soddy-sod' in discourse with my printer. Evidently the end of a long day and a long assignment. I think I may have hurt his feelings a little bit though, I doubt he ran out of ink maliciously. Better go and apologise.

December:

Posey Robin at Slimbridge

I've gone from nought to Christmassy overnight! :D

Oi, rappin-blud next door, check this - You rappin your rhymes at these kinda times ain't blessin this girl when she's gotta wake earl(y). Cease and desist now, cheers.

Bag is very heavy, filled with field guides, this morning - nearly took a woman out on the train, trying to hoik it onto my shoulder :s #beatthemwithbotany

Today, Jonathan dressed up, sang a song about grasses to that tune the periodic table song is to, made us sing along, and filmed it to go on YouTube. Life is nothing if not varied. And hilarious.

'Wait, is that...?! Oh no, forget that. Nothing.' 'Is that what, mike?' 'Nothing. I thought it was a rhino. It was just a horse in a rhino coloured jacket.' Brilliant journeys to London with Mike.

Drinks with coursemates, a wonderful party at Emmas with college friends, and a relaxed day chilling in Harlesden with some of the old OCC gang...and for once there's not a photo to prove it, you'll just have to trust me this weekend was the *best* way to end term :)

Today is all about the penultimate episode of Merlin. Let's not pretend it's about anything other. (Unless you're Jamie and it's your birthday, then it can be about that.)

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, save chinchillas (like Mouse); The stockings were flung on the sofa (with care...), With hope that gifts, in the morn, would be there. The family were snuggled all warm in their beds, Kings Carols, and Merlin, still fresh in their heads, Sibling's arrived, and Granny's there too, And in the morning, a BIRTHDAY, for our Katie Lou :) Merry Christmas, all! x

Sue Perb.

Right, well - that was my 2012 in status updates and photos! Was actually incredibly nostalgic going through all of that...But anyway. I hope you've all had a wonderful Christmas, have time to reflect on all that 2012 was, and have an excellent New Year :)

Love, as always, E x