37 Things You'll Understand if You're Emily Sturgess

So, a while ago, my good friend Claire and I were discussing how the list articles (on the feed of buzz, and so on) are getting somehow both more specific and more generic at the same time, meaning that almost every list you click on thinking 'oh yeah, I bet I'll get all of this!' (like, '20 things you'll understand if you have a sister') turn out to be completely irrelevant to your life. Where are the lists that relate to me? we started musing.

The pinnacle of this conversation arrived this week, when the article '24 problems literally only the Queen would understand' was posted online. Literally only the Queen?! Well then, if we're doing entirely personalised lists now...?

I wouldn't normally create something so narcissistic (I still haven't bought the iamtheplumbline.com domain...), but as I've been hauled up in my poorly bed this weekend I thought I'd at least do something creative with my time, and that hopefully will make Claire (who has heard me voice my passions and complaints on the below items), if not anyone else, chortle.

While I'm sure a fair few of these entries will be relatable for many, and I'm not even sure there's even one or two that are entirely mine... I'm fairly certain I'm the only one who will relate entirely to all of them? But I want to know if I'm wrong - let me know if you're actually my twin!!

OK, off we go: 37 Things You'll Understand if You're Emily Sturgess

1. When you're trying to stave off the midmorning sugar crash healthily, but your banana wants to be squashed everywhere in your bag rather than be eaten.

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2. Giving yourself a pep talk to walk yourself through adulting well.

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3. Being able to hear kissing while you're trying to read in your room.

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4. The sad day when the kids go back to school and you have to negotiate cycling through Oxford traffic again, including past a primary school and all the crazy parents.

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5. When you just need to pop into town to go to the bank, and 800,000 tourists have stopped just outside to look at something on the other side of the street.

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6. Stopping and staring intently into a hedge because you've heard a bird, and passing people assuming you've lost something, or are mad.

 
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7. Feeling the need to say hello to every duck you pass, because they could be your new best friend.

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8. Popping into Tesco on the way home from work and there being one loaf of gluten free bread left, just for you. (But also, sorry other gluten intolerants: we're all in this together and no-one wins.)

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9. Realising a few more of your closest friends are leaving Oxford.

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10. Trying not to be a massive introvert but being absolutely done with everyone by Sunday lunchtime every week. #bringmemynetflix

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11. Having trouble not quoting Miranda in every situation and conversation #barewith #suchfun #nooomummysaidthatdaddysaidwecanthaveanicesculptureofthetajmahalatthewedding

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12. Not being able to not respond to someone saying "Question - " with "tell me what you think about me."
(which, while we're at it, is not a question, but that doesn't mean I don't say it anyway.)

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13. The rising passion when anyone says anything remotely negative, or even ambivalent, about Harry Potter.

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14. The bliss of clean sheet night.

 
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15. Seeing the same people every day to and from work and never ever talking to them.

 
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16. Being sent pictures of your friends and family's pets, when you don't have any of your own.

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17. When someone rallies the end of their public prayer with, 'and all God's people said...?'
#iknowhowprayerswork #imnotatholidayclub

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18. When someone plays Be Thou My Vision with the new Rend Collective arrangement but the old words.

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19. Cycling through town on bin morning.

 
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20. When someone in the office rings the tea bell.

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21. Spotting something entertaining on the way home and wondering whether you can explain it wittily and concisely enough to post it on Twitter, but regretting you don't have a photo of it to post on instagram.

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22. Trying to take photos of the river with your brain as you cycle over donnington bridge on bright, crisp mornings.

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23. When people aren't quite sure why you'd do a whole masters in Species Identification.

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24. Actually having food in the cupboards and clean laundry.

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25. Freewheeling down the high street late at night when there aren't any buses, or annoying pedestrians


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26. Knowing that the ways to your heart aren't entirely conventional
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(This'd do it.)
27. Never having completed a to-do list, because the list never ends.

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28. Having one of your favourite kids tell you they love you

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29. Going to a restaurant that has a specific gluten free menu, rather than just making you guess.


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30. Genuinely wanting to be a thin person, but also really loving food.


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31. Having to wait an entire summer for new series of Once Upon a Time, New Girl and Brooklyn Nine-Nine...in the knowledge that you've watched all the episodes of Community that will ever be made.
 
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32. When you and the old uni gang get back together

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33. Hearing that some more of your friends have gotten engaged.

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34. When you spot a particularly glorious moss

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35. Finding a time that you, your sister AND your cousin are all free to hang out

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36. Discovering you've run out of porridge
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37. When you're being particularly cheeky and you think you've probably just about gotten away with it
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OK, I know that as I fall asleep tonight I'll think of even more, but I think that's exhaustive enough for now. What would be on your list? Do you relate to my obviously entirely relatable list? #iamtheplumbline 
Let me know!
Until next time, when I might post something more sensible (perhaps, perhaps not),
Laters,
Em x